An articulate and well written article. Dysphoria almost ruined my life without me even knowing it. I had pushed it down so far in my psyche that the battlle was raging deep within rarely percolating to the surface. Like a distant war, I was aware there was a conflict going on somewhere, but it seemed as if it had little relevance in my day to day life. It barely made the back page of my daily mental newspaper. Once I acknowledged the battle being waged and took steps to acknowledge and accept it, my paradigm changed rather quickly. I engaged in an all out assault to defeat the hidden enemy that had been conducting its guerilla campaign for so long.
Many times I felt defeated, worn out. It was impossible to win this non conventional war raging internally. I felt like giving up. But each time I felt trapped by my apparent lack of progress, I would ask myself a simple question. Could I ever go back to being the man the world assumed me to be? The prospect appalled me. I would rather die. I was already a kind of emotional zombie numbly shuffling through life on autopilot. With renewed determination I trudged on and steadily the real me began to emerge in a way i never thought possible. I was energized, optimistic, free. The future seemed so much brighter. I had real hope for the first time in a long time.
I can understand those whose perspective is that gender dysphoria can be a kind of curse. It affects us so deeply in mostly negative ways. However, overcoming the internal incongruity is such a profoundly positive life changing experience, I celebrate the trials I had to go through to become my authentic self. The struggle has been worth it.. Like you, I now think of my trans identity as a gift. One precious thing I have been given is an understanding and acceptance of diversity in a way more profound than most cis people can imagine, much less appreciate. I have experienced it all. I have lived the cis binary as the man I was assumed to be; I have lived in the in between spaces and now am emerging on the other side as the binary woman I was always meant to be. I am so blessed.
