Friends. Love. Connections. All of these are intertwined in a variety of fascinating and sometimes subtle ways. Why is it that someone who was the most important person in our life years later becomes a virtual stranger?

When I was in grade school, my family moved from Pennsylvania to Florida. A culture shock to say the least. In particular the open hostility by white people towards black people confused me. I had never experienced that before.

As kids seem to do so easily and quickly, I developed close friendships with four or five of my classmates and neighbors and comfortable relationships with many more. I have many fond memories of that time.

My parents always had their doubts about the quality of a southern education so I found myself attending a northern prep school when I turned 14. This of course led to college and graduate school in various locales across the country and jobs working for the federal government and a private law firm in the northeast.

A little less than 20 years later I found my way back to Florida to the same town I grew up in. Eagerly, I immediately looked up old friends who had remained. Almost uniformly, most of them were polite, but had little interest in revisiting old times or renewing our friendships. The typical encounter was something like a noncommittal, “So nice to see you again. We have to do this again soon.“ And of course we never did.

I was disappointed and disheartened. I remembered these people so vividly and with such fondness. I was ready to pick up where we left off. I did not understand how they could take such an important time in our lives together and cavalierly dismiss it as unimportant ancient history.

Occasionally, I have run into people from my past who were as enthusiastic to see me as I was them. But this is rare. I have thought about why. Often the answer eludes me. Maybe most people are so self-absorbed that people are only important for what they can do for them now. Maybe people live so much in the moment that they have no time to think about the future or the past. Maybe I cared more than they did. Maybe they have short memories. There are any number of unsatisfactory conclusions I could reach.

What I do know is that I treasure every person who has touched my life. At the time we were close, they helped to shape and mold me into the person I am now. Time and distance have not diminished the love I have for them. I sometimes wonder if the world would not be a better place if each of us had a broader perspective. If we truly cared about everyone and their well-being, how much richer our lives might be; how the horrible conflicts that seem to never end might dissipate with better personal connections. It is a dream that keeps me going. It is a dream that powers my faith in what the God I know has promised is to come.