I acknowledged and embraced my trans identity in June of 2020. At that time I was the primary care giver for my 92 yo mother, who lives in a large house on a private road in Siesta Key. My main connection to the outside world was the internet. The LGBTQ community in Sarasota is small and barely visible, the trans community apparently non-existent. But i was able to learn a lot just by surfing the web. I did not have a therapist or support group to guide me and was not even sure where to find them.
Everything you have shared is invaluable (and much of it is new to me). I eventually found my way in fits and starts, but my path has been hit and miss. Some ot the things you did not cover that I found incredibly useful follow.
-Read the memoirs by and about trans people. I have read 23 to date, primarily about trans women since I am MTF, but I find all of them fascinating. They have been my virtual support group. Amazon provides a good selection . Their stories are mine as well and their experiences, good and bad, have helped me navigate my own journey, pointing out things I need to do and mistakes I might make. Five of my favorites are She’s Not There by Jenny Finney Boylan, a good read as well as being informative. I cried my way through the last third; I knew I was home. It Never Goes Away by Anne Lauren Koch. I am in my ‘60s, so the autobiography of a woman who transitioned later in life particularly resonated. Becoming Nicole by Amy Ellis Nutt about a young trans female, now a well known actress (Nicole Maines) whose story was part of the change in the law to validate Trans status and healthcare. It also has a brief but informative discussion of the science behind gender dysphoria. The companion books by Scottie and Marcie Madden sharing the different perspectives of a couple where one spouse is a MTF trans person: Getting Back to Me and Just Because My Husband’s a Woman.
-Reach out to the writers you like by e-mail or social media. Most will respond.
-Check You Tube: Lots of helpful videos and most are single subject, so it is easy to remain focused. I particularly like Dr. Z’s, a PhD psychologist in LA who specializes in transgender issues. She seems to read my mind. (Disclaimer: She is one of my therapists.)
-Come out to selected people. You will be surprised how supportive most are. It was totally unexpected and totally affirming. Cis women in particular are incredibly accepting and quickly treat you as a member of the sisterhood. Their support and help is invaluable in finding your way.
-Anticipate that everything is going to be far more time consuming, complicated, expensive and difficult than you initially imagine, but that you will take joy in the journey and you will become the person you desire. Learn something new every day and develop a team to help you. Good luck!
