I have dabbled off and on with getting my name changed through the ID Document Center at the National Center for Transgender Equality. Several months ago I took the time to navigate their website and fill out all the forms. I got busy and never completed printing them out, getting them signed and notarized and submitting them to the court. I have now begun to realize that this is something I really need to complete.

For the most part in my day-to-day life, not having my name changed has not made much of a difference. Friends and family and my various doctors use my preferred name, so it is not much of an issue. It gets a little annoying when I have to verify my information prior to a doctor’s appointment and my dead name still appears in my file because that is what’s on my insurance card and also is still my legal name and gender for financial purposes. For the most part I use trans friendly organizations and providers, so most of them have spaces on their paperwork for a more accurate description of who I am and superimpose this on the documents requiring strict adherence to legal standards. Recently I had what I can only describe as a somewhat humorous experience in an airport. It has given me a sense of urgency that I need to do something about my name.

I spent most the month of August with a dear friend in New Jersey. I flew in and out of Allentown, Pennsylvania, which has a regional airport that is not particularly busy. When I went through the TSA line, I was the only one in it. I provided the officer with my boarding pass and ID. He quickly verified the validity of my pass and then carefully scrutinized my drivers license. He looked at it, looked up at me, looked at my license, looked up at me and continued this process for several minutes. It finally dawned on me that I did not look anything like my drivers license anymore. I fly frequently and had never had anyone do this before, so I wasn’t focused on what he might be thinking. I mentioned to him that I looked a little different than when the picture was taken because I was a trans woman and I had medically transitioned. He quickly relaxed, handed my documents back and waved me through. It was both strangely affirming and disconcerting at the same time—disconcerting because I had a momentary vision of being carefully scrutinized as I tried to enter a country hostile to the United States and affirming because I had passed as the woman I am. But it was a wake up call. I really need to complete the process.