I have seen the struggle you are going through so often. it seems to be almost inevitable for those of us wrestling with our true identity. Much of the pain that others have experienced, I did not. I would love to say this is due to the fact that I was more certain or more insulated or had some sort of vision that took away my vacillation, but that would not be correct.

I started my journey by being absolutely certain that I was trans. My almost immediate second thought was I am going crazy. I didn’t really believe this, but my reality had changed so much I needed to be certain. I read the biographies of 24 trans women over two months. I looked at the blogs of people who had successfully transitioned decades before. I researched the science. I engaged the best therapist that I could. Everything I learned and observed just confirmed the fact that I did understand myself. There was no room for doubt.

I took the proverbial plunge. Immediately I told everyone I knew and everyone I met that I was a trans woman. I engaged in a kind of burning the bridges behind me approach to my transition, or as I prefer to think of it, my evolution. There was no going back. I was prepared to have everyone I knew and everyone I worked with completely reject me and find myself all alone. In the back of my mind, however, I knew that there was a community out there of people just like me that I was now free to meet and get to know and support and be supported by them. That became my all consuming goal.

To my surprise, the disaster I felt that was inevitable never came about. The people I knew called me courageous and authentic and finally at peace. The words of encouragement were something I did not expect. It made my transition so much easier. It allowed me to do the things that I knew I had to do and all the medical interventions I had planned to proceed without a hitch. My world is so much different, but also so much brighter.

I would not necessarily recommend my approach to everyone who is wrestling with their identity. We each struggle to find our own way. Whether by accident or good education or blind luck, I took a bold approach which worked for me. I am thankful for that.