I spent many years standing at the junction of the two roads. My heart wanted to walk the one less traveled. My head told me the safest thing to do was choose the one everyone else seemed to have taken. Finally I followed my heart. And that is making all the difference. My journey is not yet over.

When I took the COGIATI test, I scored 330, probably transsexual. I suppose my affinity for math and good sense of direction lowered my score. It was fun, but as you noted, it is pseudo science. I know many women who are good at STEM. I have observed this before in reading your stories—we are exactly the same and totally different. I am tall. I stand out in a group of women. But I live to blend in. I too am old. I started evolving late. Most days I use just a tad of make-up to emphasize my feminine appearance. I have always loved both David Bowie and Annie Lennox (though to be honest Annie a bit more). We couldn’t be more alike. Yet…

I am a 100% totally binary, postop, passable trans woman. I have always been a woman and now externally I am complete in every way. I never cared that much about dress. When I would go out in public I would dress in a way that I thought was most pleasing in terms of my presentation—what I felt I looked best in. If that was more towards the masculine, fine. If more towards the feminine, that was equally acceptable. I was rather gender fluid with no strong preference. I just wanted to blend in. Above all, I cared very deeply about passing and being accepted as a woman. It is the main reason I stood so long at the juncture where the roads diverged, paralyzed from being able to follow my heart. It was only when I was able to convince myself that I really knew what was at the end of the path that I was bold enough to take the first step. And it has made all the difference.

Early in my journey, I had a difficult time getting my head around gender nonconforming individuals. I could understand them intellectually, but emotionally they were so different from me. It has taken time to get to know some in real life to appreciate them more fully. You and Logan both write with such clarity and certainty about your non-binary identities, I can almost feel what it is like to live in your world. I suspect that if we were ever to meet in real life, I would feel immediately comfortable in your presence. I feel like I already know you. The clarity with which you understand who you are seems to allow you to communicate your identity in an unambiguous and nonthreatening way. I wish that everyone in the community were equally as comfortable with who they are. Maybe then the cis normative people would be more accepting. There is so much wonderful diversity in the trans community. We should be celebrated, not feared and certainly not viewed with distaste nor despised.