I understand what you are saying, but I have a different take on the subject. As a trans woman, I find that I have become more active over the years, not less so. When I first came out, people were so surprised that my brother’s husband wrote me an email saying I was the last person he would ever think was transgender. I had no problem acknowledging my identity to anyone and everyone, including people I did not know—the nurses in my doctors’ office, people in the hair salon, people I met casually in public places, store clerks. I was open with everyone because I was proud of my identity and relieved that I finally understood who I was.

My early goal was to fully transition to the point where I became so passable I could live my life in stealth mode. My original intent was to steer clear of the gender wars and just proceed with my own evolution without getting involved. Along the way I have discovered so many people who are struggling or who are under attack and so much misunderstanding and bigotry that I have been gradually sucked into the debate. I now find myself with a sense of obligation to help all the other members of our community. If I were asked to appear on a panel I would gladly do so even if I was blindsided by being “outed“. It would not bother me in the slightest. But that is just me. I have a different sensibility than you do and I respect your disappointment and sense of violation.

I also would not care if they viewed me as a token participant because of my unique identity. I have found that when discussing the transgender experience with clueless people (which is almost all of them), they listen intently and they’re often fascinated by my understanding. Their paradigms quickly shift. If someone came to me with the candid upfront revelation that I was being asked to participate on a panel because I was trans, I would gladly do so. If the broader subject was something in which I had expertise, I would gladly opine from my education and experience, but would not be offended if they also wanted to discuss my identity. I am a legal and financial expert and a trans person. Both inform who and what I am and what I have to offer. In my opinion education is what ultimately will resolve the gender wars raging so intensely at the moment. I am happy to do my part.