I would love to say that your analysis should be self evident to all, but it is clear that this is not the case. The most virulent transphobic and fearful still cling to this discredited theory to find “empirical” justification for their bigotry. A scientist said it. It must be true. Right? I sympathize with the parents of transgender youth. It is a shock when you realize your child is not cis normative, but meeting the issue with rejection and an attempt to convert them from their understanding of themselves creates real danger to the mental health and long-term well-being of their offspring. An attempt to understand and work through the issues together is a much more enlightened approach.

It took me over 40 years to accept my transgender identity. When I finally did so, I was absolutely certain. There was no doubt. Everyone in my family was blindsided. Even my brother’s husband with whom I have a very close relationship because of our common interests, commented that I was the last person he would have ever considered to be transgender. According to Littman, I meet the definition of having rapid onset gender dysphoria. What her theory fails to even consider, much less recognize, is the internal struggle that had been present just below the surface for a very long time. It became the most acute when I was a freshman in high school and read the biography of Christine Jorgensen. It electrified me. I knew then that I was a “transsexual” as well (the rather crude terminology that we used at the time). It was a different era and there was little understanding, much less acceptance, of transgendered individuals. I would have been treated as if I had a severe psychosis had I revealed my inner thoughts to my family and the adults in my life. I learned to bury the dysphoria so deep that I could even go for extended periods not even being aware of its presence. It was only when my children were established in their own lives and I had no more career responsibilities that I was finally able to acknowledge who I really was. My announcement to the world was only sudden in the sense that I waited until I knew I had to do something (and didn’t care what that meant in terms of the loss of family and friends). Life had become flat and without joy and purpose. I couldn’t stand it anymore. It only seemed like it was sudden onset to those who were oblivious to my internal struggles.

I remember my childhood years. Like many children, there were any number of sensitive personal issues that I did not feel like I could discuss with my parents and felt embarrassed about. It didn’t mean that my concerns were not real. I needed someone to listen and provide guidance and support. I just didn’t know how to say anything, so I suffered in silence. How many of our youth who are struggling with their own identities feel exactly the same way? We all have expectations for our children and we assume that they will be just like us, sharing our values, dreams and aspirations. The hardest thing for a parent to do is to let their child become the person they were meant to be. Often that is not our vision for them. They are unique individuals who have the right, and hopefully the support, to conduct their lives in a way that is meaningful to them. The world is changing (and I think ultimately for the better in spite of the growing pains evident by the current hyperbolic rhetoric surrounding the issue of transgenderism). I look forward to the day when being transgender is accepted as just a normal variant of the human condition and not a defect to be cured or hidden away because it makes others uncomfortable.