In saying you have had it relatively easy, I was referring to the process you have had to go through to transition. Most people I know have had to struggle far more than you— especially those with few or no resources. My sense is that your means are limited as well. I quite frankly am amazed at what you’ve been able to accomplish in a short period of time. I am not justifying the complexity of the system or denigrating your experience. I am trying to give you perspective that maybe, it is not as arbitrary and people are not as incompetent as you sometimes paint them. As to the trans community itself, I tend to accept people for who they are until they prove differently. As time goes on, I think you will find that it is not clear that all people who take on a trans identity actually are. The analysis of the professional community is constantly being sharpened. For instance, in Finland at the moment, they are examining carefully the experience of autistic girls who consider themselves trans masc. They are finding that in many instances being trans is not the real issue. It is a mental health problem due to a feeling of low self worth. This is part of the constant search for better understanding of the condition of being trans and constant refinement in properly identifying it.

I am not criticizing anyone. I am merely suggesting that the situation is not quite as simple as you sometimes appear to think it is. You clearly come from the school of self identification. That is a popular trend at the moment, but there is a reason that WPATH has not abandoned their standards. They tend to move cautiously. Are they out of date and lagging behind the times? Arguably yes. Especially when it comes to targeted estradiol levels for trans women. It is a monolithic group that takes long time to change their standards. But that does not mean that every new trend should be accepted enthusiastically just because it is what certain people want.

Finally, you say I don’t know you. We have never met, but you write frequently and I read what you write. The message is fairly clear and consistent. That is what I base my analysis upon. By contrast, you know nothing about me. For instance, you do not know that I have lost contact with my youngest daughter and three of my grandchildren because of my evolution. She considers me pathologically deranged and a bad influence. If I had started transitioning when I first suspected that I was likely Trans, I would’ve been locked up in a mental institution and subjected to chemical and electro shock therapy. In the 60s, being gay, much less “transsexual” was considered a psychological pathology. This attitude persisted until very recently in the DSM standards. You really don’t know what it used to be like. You weren’t even born yet.

Since you first arrived on the scene, I have done nothing but help in any way that I can. But you can be difficult to deal with. You tend to be highly defensive and critical of people around you. You tend to be dismissive of anyone who expresses an opinion that varies from yours. This is understandable in many ways because of the things you’ve been subjected to. You are not alone in the problems you have encountered. It is a common experience of most trans people. But you need to differentiate better those who are allies and just making observations and those who are critical because they are bigoted. I am not your enemy.