Like you, most of my experience with the gay community is anecdotal. I spend a lot of time in places where gay men gather. Being a postop trans woman, I do not consider myself on their menu for the most part, but I find the community to be affirming and accepting and a lot of fun. Like you, I have noticed that sex is talked about a lot, and I frequently see people who have just met exploring the possibility of going home together. The discussions are fairly unguarded and wide open. No one objects. It just seems to be part of the culture. Does this mean that gay men are having more sex than straight men? I would not go that far, but I absolutely agree that they are more open and comfortable with their sexuality than straight men are.

Perhaps straight men are more indoctrinated into the puritanical aspects of the social order where sex is not discussed in public and it is almost a guilty pleasure. In public places where men and women gather, there is a sort of dance that goes on between men and women who are potentially interested in one another. The interactions are more subtle for the most part. Some of this may be due to the fact that women get tired of guys who appear to be interested in only one thing. As a woman, I get turned off when it is the clear that the guy just wants to use me for sex, and has no interest in even developing some kind of friendship first. I don’t like to be objectified. I think most cis women feel the same way. I do not think this is as much of a problem between two men because the relationship is more equal from a purely societal basis. The dynamics seem to be different.