Louise Perry’s attitude is derived from the work of Ray Blanchard who developed the concept of autogynephilia in the late 1970s. Essentially the various types of trans women he proposed all involve a gay sexual orientation whereby the desire to become a woman is due at least to some extent to a sexual attraction to males. It has been highly criticized and debunked. It has no basis in reality. The phenomenon of being male to female transgender is far more complex than the simplistic theory he originated.
It is becoming clear that being transgender is a matter of brain biology, which is fixed at birth. It is not learned behavior, a mental delusion or fixation. Ray Blanchard confuses sexuality with gender identity, which are two completely different concepts.
Without engaging in a lengthy analytical discussion, let me share two points. Many of the transgender women I know consider themselves to be sapphic or trans lesbians. They have absolutely no interest in men whatsoever. This matches the attitude of most psychologists who believe that sexual orientation does not change with transition. A guy who likes girls and who transitions to becoming female will still like females.
I believe that this theory holds true for the most part, though some psychologists are beginning to question whether this is always the case. It does not perfectly apply to me for instance. As a guy I was completely heterosexual. Gay sex not only did not appeal to me, I actually found it somewhat repulsive. As a post op trans woman equipped and functional like any other woman, I have a new found attraction to heterosexual men. I consider myself simply female with the same appetites as most cis women. Men just fit better (pun intended). To be uber specific, I am an allosexual demisexual pan romantic woman. I may like guys, but I am still fond of women as well. I find I attract attention from both sexes.
As to your comment about men’s sex drives and an inability of women to understand it, I must disagree in two regards. First, women are well aware of men’s motivations. Many of them are openly aggressive and demanding. Even the ones who take a more polite and gentlemanly approach, their end goal is quite obvious. Men wear their sexual impulses on their sleeves. I knew this as a man, at least with some guys, but it is painfully obvious as a woman. Guys are clueless as to how transparent their motives are. As a species they mostly come across as demanding, manipulative and uncaring about women as people. Take sex out of the equation and they usually lose interest.
As to the primal need for sex, women can have as large of a libido as any man. I know many women who play the field always looking for new experiences and partners. I don’t buy the idea that men have a higher drive than women. This old wives tale arises from a variety of differences, both biological and social, between men and women. Let me just focus on biology.
Women’s sexual stimulation is primarily centered in their clitorises and g spots (the nerve bundle behind the pubic bone on the top of the vagina). The vagina itself is less responsive. Though I am transgender, I have both. The tip of my penis is now my clitoris and my prostate is now my g spot. Sex feels the same as it does for any woman, with all the benefits and downsides. It takes longer for a woman to become physically aroused and sexual fantasy usually plays a bigger part than it does with men. Ordinary missionary sex generally does not effectively stimulate our sensitive spots. It takes time.
On the other hand when we reach orgasm, watch out. It is a much more pleasurable and longer lasting experience than with men. It builds as a warm pleasurable feeling that fills my lower abdomen, moves up my spine to flush my face and down my extremities to my toes and fingers. It leaves me quivering in waves of pleasure that last a minute or more. And unlike men, no refactory period. I don’t need time to recover. I can stay close to orgasm and go multiple times. There are advantages to being a woman.
The other difference between men and women is their differing instinctual goals in engaging in sex. Beyond the pleasurable aspects, men’s biological imperative is to impregnate as many females as possible to assure broad reproductive success. Women’s is to find a healthy dominant male who will protect her and her child. It is a long term commitment and she wants the same from her mate, which is obviously somewhat at odds with the male instinct to broadly spread his seed.
In society this is reflected in the way men and women interact. Women tend to be more cautious and men more aggressive. The dynamics have changed to a degree with wide availability of birth control, but those primal instincts are still very much a subconscious part of the male and female psyches.
I described myself as demisexual but allosexual. It is a somewhat unusual combination. Most consider being demisexual as part of the Ace spectrum. Unlike the archetypal demisexual I can quickly find both men and women sexually attractive, but nothing will happen until I get to know them and connect with them on an emotional or spiritual level. It is that dynamic that melts my heart and opens the door to a physical relationship.
I agree with you that modern relationships are often transactional and superficial, but they need not be that way. At the end of the day I find “sport fucking” to be unsatisfying. It is scratching an itch, no more. On the other hand sex with someone you really connect with who you really like as a person and who feels the same in return can be magical. There is a reason women like to curl up with a bowl of popcorn and a box of Kleenex and happily cry our way through a romcom. We all want a Prince Charming—someone who thinks we are special—and a happy ending.
