Over time the HRT will definitely mellow out your emotions. The impatience, irritation and aggressiveness that you likely felt as a man just below the surface all the time, will definitely dissipate. It will be replaced by a sense that your emotions, in particular empathy and the ability to cry will be more readily accessible. Trust me you will love it. The other thing you will find is that you are less prone to an angry outburst. Things will still aggravate you, but they will appear more as an itch to be lightly scratched and pondered as to the source. The inclination to react impulsively without thinking will disappear. You have already experienced when awakened in the middle of the night and not feeling as irritated as you once were. Will HRT make you completely docile? No, things will still piss you off. Like you, idiot drivers are a pet peeve for me. Lead, or follow, but get the hell out of the way and stop texting and talking on your phone. Pay attention to what you are doing and the drivers around you. It is a constant source of irritation. The one thing that estrogen has done for me with regard to bad driving is to allow me to take a deep breath and overcome my aggressive and annoyed instincts. It is much easier to get my emotions under control. The same is true for most other things in life. You will become a more mellow, patient, aware person. It is hard to describe but you will become sensitized to the world and the people around you. You will be calmer. You will laugh more easily. You will be more relaxed. It’s almost like you can feel what people around you are feeling and sometimes hear what they are thinking.
The one concern I would have with regard to your current therapy is the low level of estradiol you have been prescribed. I have taken 2 mg twice a day for 18 months. There are certain practitioners such as Will Powers and Dr. V of Metamorphosis in Los Angeles who think that this is ridiculously low. I have friends who are on much more and have estrogen levels in the 700 range. This is what apparently makes them happy and feel well balanced. I am not suggesting that you push it all over the lot or just go off as a loose cannon and self medicate, but I believe that the WPATH standards are a bit out of date and too conservative. Minimal doses of Spironolactone are questionable. Many practitioners even question the utility of Spironolactone given some of its severe potential side effects. I took it and personally suffered from some of the brain fog which is not uncommon. I could concentrate on one thing, but lost my ability to multitask. Re estradiol, some of the more enlightened HRT specialists believe that the mode of administration of estradiol is more important than actual dose. Oral therapy tends to create high levels of esterone which competes with binding sites for estradiol and reduces its positive effects. I would do some research. Look into the more current thinking on the subject. I am also a believer that progesterone should be part of the therapy, but only natural, not synthetic which has been problematic in the past for heart and cancer problems. Real progesterone actually protects the heart and lowers breast cancer risk.
As a final note, I was forced to reduce my estradiol to 2 mg per day for the six weeks preceding my bottom surgery a couple of weeks ago. I was not happy. My emotions became less accessible and some of my irritability came back. It was not a disaster, but it was unpleasant. 4 mg of estradiol was the minimum I needed. I suspect that I would be happier with more and am working with a new endocrinologist to review my situation. My estrogen is in the female range but a bit on the lower side. Fortunately I do not need the Spironolactone anymore because the orchiectomy took care of my testosterone issues. Good luck with your continued journey. I would encourage you to do your own research and not blindly accept whatever your practitioner is currently prescribing. Knowledge regarding HRT is changing rapidly and there is a lot of research being done that many practitioners are unaware of. It is your body, your life, you deserve the best approach that medical science can provide.
