Validation. An interesting concept. I guess I come out on the side of we all need validation, and I am quite a bit older than you. Having said that, I need to qualify it a bit. There is external validation, which is what I think you are referring to, and self or internal validation which is your concept of yourself. To give you an illustration, when I first came out, I was utterly unconcerned with how people would react to me. If they accepted me, that was wonderful. If they were abusive or dismissive, I was prepared to move on. Their transphobia was their problem and did not affect my sense of identity one whit or my acceptance of myself. In that sense I had a great deal of self validation without the need for external validation. On the other hand, on a day to day basis as I move among my social groups, what people think of me is important. I want to be liked. I want to be listened to. I want to be respected. I don’t think this ever goes away for most of us. External validation is an important component, I believe, in most if not everyone‘s life. We are social, not solitary, animals.

Does it get easier with age? I think so in the sense that we become more self-sufficient – at least most of us. We also have had the opportunity to more firmly build the social structure of our life. It is not easily undermined. It is easier to do and think what you want without worrying so much about how the world around us will react.

The most important thing, and the question I think that you are really looking for agreement with, is whether it is reasonable to want to be liked and respected and accepted. To this I would say, absolutely yes.