When I first started transitioning, my goal was to become a passable woman, and lived in stealth mode the rest of my life. I had no interest in the politics or the TERF wars. As we all know, completing our evolution takes time and a lot of effort (not to mention expense).

Once I had the pieces in place, all I had to do was wait for the various physiological changes and surgeries to take place. Everything was scheduled. There was nothing left to plan. At that point I became obsessed with meeting other trans people. Initially this occurred online and in zoom conferences . After all there was a pandemic going on. Over time, I began to socialize in person. Over time I began to realize that too many people were struggling. How could I turn my back on them?

I have now become politically active. I push back against hateful legislation and lobby for better care and inclusiveness. I share my personal story with anyone I meet who will listen. Most importantly, I walk with my brothers and sisters who are struggling to fit in socially and are afraid of how they will be perceived . I have found that one person who understands can do so much to allay the fear of someone who is uncertain.

I understand the internal conflict raging within you. Part of you needs to deal with your own identity issues and dysphoria. Another part is disturbed by the political and social movements that seem to be gathering steam to further marginalize the trans community. It is hard to know where to devote your attention. Are the larger issues more important? Are your own challenges the ones that need priority? It can be overwhelming.

I can only speak for myself and my own journey. I found that I needed to be quite certain of who I was and what I was trying to accomplish before I had the time and wisdom to help anyone else in a meaningful way. I have watched your struggles over the last year. I would give yourself permission to deal with your dysphoria in the way that makes most sense to you. Once you are more certain of your ultimate identity and the path to becoming the person you want to be, you will be in a better position to take on the concerns and struggles of others. You can only do so much at one time. Be kind to yourself. You are not neglecting the larger community. You are taking care of your personal needs and they are of prime importance.