When I first started transitioning, my laser focus was on becoming anatomically and functionally all girl. I wanted a vagina desperately. I also wanted to be passable. My goal was to be able to live in stealth mode in society and be treated like any other woman. For the most part I have succeeded. I can’t do anything about my height at over 6 feet, but in all other respects I am entirely female and I have a sexually responsive vagina. Perhaps naïvely, my belief was that I would be wooed and lusted after like any other girl, not viewed as a member of a special class of sexual creature. In point of fact, I get hit on all the time by men of varying ages from late teens to those in their 60s. I am always flattered. It helps to be attractive and shapely.
For a little over a year, I have been a member of a number of dating sites where people go who are interested in pursuing a possible relationship with a trans woman. One of the things that surprised me was how many “straight“ men were looking for trans women, but only chicks with dicks. They had no interest in a trans woman who was just like any other girl and had a vagina. It has become clear that they consider trans women as an exotic form of unicorn, and those who keep their penises as particularly desirable. Many of them were quite frankly surprised that I had had bottom surgery. They seemed to assume that all trans women by definition retained their penises. Being allosexual, but also demisexual, I found many of them attractive as potential partners. However, I am not a hook up kind of girl and have no interest in sex for sex’s sake. Many of them seem to be led around by their little heads. Their minds are not engaged at all. I find that a total turn off.
To me intimacy is about two people connecting in a special way who already know and like one another. Sport fucking and being used as an object to satisfy a man’s desire do nothing for me. I consider myself an ordinary, mainstream kind of woman, not a special class of woman, but a very ordinary one. I like men who treat me with respect. I like romance. I Iike guys who are kind and gentle and attentive, ones who make me laugh and are interesting to talk to and be with. Is that too much to ask? I think if we were to take a survey of most women, they are just like me. We like men, but not as objects to be used by them. We are looking for a partner to grow with and develop a satisfying physical relationship with. It has never been about just sex.
