With all due respect, lesbianism involves sexual attraction. It is not just friendship between two women. My best friend in the whole world is another trans woman. We both like guys. Even though we have as intimate a relationship as any two people can have, we are not lesbians, because we are not lovers. Our sexual interests lie elsewhere.
The resistance I see from some people to the idea that sexual attraction is a component of being a lesbian seems to come from trans women who still have penises. They seem to be afraid that they will be viewed just as heterosexual males playing at being women. It is certainly not a judgment that I am making, but let’s get beyond the idea that the definition of lesbians is merely women who are friends. I know lots of women who are friends who would be offended if you called them lesbians. Conversely, to be a lesbian, as that term is generally understood, is to be a woman with a vagina who has a sexual attraction towards other women with vaginas. Some cis women would even go further and insist that it must be a cis woman with a vagina and not a trans woman with one. Here is a snippet from a WebMD article on sexual health. You can find hundreds of other examples.
“What Is Lesbianism?
Medically Reviewed by C. Nicole Swiner, MD on July 07, 2023 Written by WebMD Editorial Contributors
A lesbian is a woman who is physically and romantically attracted to other women. Lesbianism is a form of homosexuality.
The first mention of lesbianism in history is in the Code of Hammurabi, a Babylonian code of laws from around 1700 B.C. that allowed women to marry each other.
Other Names for Lesbians
The word “lesbian” comes from the name of the Greek island Lesbos, where Sappho was born. She was an ancient Greek woman who wrote poems that included homosexual themes. The term “sapphic,” named for this poet, also refers to female homosexuality.
Lesbians may also refer to themselves as gay women or simply as gay.”
While the definition of a lesbian is a woman who has sexual attraction for other women, you are correct that nowhere within the definition does it talk about genitalia. However, as a practical matter, virtually all lesbians would assume that another lesbian has a vagina. Virtually all of them would be shocked if they discovered that was not the case without being warned. Sexual equipment is very much a part of the lesbian experience in most cases. I know many lesbians personally. Not a single one of them would have any interest in a trans woman with a penis (though some, but certainly not most, might consider a relationship with a trans woman with a vagina) and would be offended if trans women with male equipment referred to themselves as lesbians because they would not meet their generally accepted definition.
