You illustrate variation in the community. The one place where we diverge quite a bit is in our experience of Demisexuality. Being allosexual and liking sex does not mean that I go looking for it wherever it might be hiding. I get to know people and nature takes its course as I do or do not create a connection with them. I never try to force it. When I meet someone new who I love spending time with, that is all I am looking for. I am not looking to see if it will go further. When it does it is always a pleasant surprise and very unpredictable. Some people I think I would have no attraction to turn out to be my heart’s desire, and some people who I feel like should be, leave me flat in terms of an emotional and sexual connection. Others I have a strong emotional connection with, but no sexual attraction. To say that an emotional or spiritual connection is required for sexual attraction is not to imply that it always happens. It is merely a precondition to when it does occur. I have ceased projecting and anticipating. Each relationship is different.

Though I am allosexual, I am not interested in casual relationships. Someone who is hot does not necessarily stir my juices. The soul of the person does.