Your article is well written, and explains your personal experience clearly. Just to clarify a bit, while being demisexual is often identified as being on the Ace spectrum, it does not have to be so. Some, like me, are allosexual, but still demisexual. I like sex a lot and I often find myself flirting with guys I find cute. I can be attracted before I have any interest in bedding him. For that, as you described from your own experience, I have to get to know the person better and connect with him in a meaningful spiritual or emotional way. That is when my heart melts. But I can be turned on before I reach the point where it becomes serious. That is when my demisexual nature kicks in. In that, I am a little different than you.
In talking to a guy where we seem to have chemistry, if it becomes clear that he is just viewing me as a sex object, I get turned off. I need more. I am looking for something mutual where he likes me and I like him, and there’s more than just spending time together in bed. That is where the magic lies. You speculate that you may be a little weird. Maybe I am as well, since my experience of demisexuality is different than yours and many others.
On a different subject, you do not have to identify as LGBTQIA necessarily to be demisexual. If you are heterosexual, you may be an ally (which it appears you are), but it does not necessarily require you to consider yourself part of the narrower community which identifies as something other than straight heterosexual. People often confuse the difference between gender identity, social presentation, and sexual identity. The three are often interrelated, but are independent concepts.
I know many cross dressing, heterosexual males who have no interest in anything other than women. They are part of the LGBTQ community because of the way they present, but sexually are quite conventional. However, how you view yourself is not up to me. Even if you are a straight demisexual, heterosexual woman, I am glad that you consider yourself supportive and part of the community.
